UPDATE: Voting is open AND you can vote EVERY. SINGLE. DAY!!! (I’m #32)
Mandi at Vintage Revivals is having a contest. Not just any contest, mind you. The winner gets a free room makeover. Yep, Mandi will go to the winner’s house for a week and makeover a room of their choice.
Free. Room. Makeover.
All you have to do is write a blog post about what room you would pick.
I pick my kitchen. I have a hard time calling it a kitchen. It’s more a wall of appliances and cabinets. And a countertop.
Scratch and dent white appliances? check
Mis-matched range hood over stove? check
No microwave? check
No dishwasher? check
Window for people taller than 6’2” over sink? check
No backsplash? check
Orange-ish oak cabinets covered in grease? check
Green laminate countertop? check
Ceiling fan centered to room and not over table? check
Boob light over kitchen sink? check
STUFFED CARP ON THE WALL? check
People, I’m 50 years old. I’m tired of washing dishes by hand. I can’t get manicures anymore because my nails have been banned from all the salons.
I hate seeing that damn perky boob over my kitchen sink, constantly reminding me of what-once-was-but-will-never-be-again.
Even though I clean weekly, don’t get me started on the amount of built-up dust that flies off the ceiling fan blades and lands on the food on the table. Ewwww!
If I have to clean a carp’s rear end again….
Mandi, please pick me!
I remember all my life (that’s 50 long years!)
rainin’ down as cold as ice (Minnesota weather, doncha know)
shadows of a woman her face through a window (me looking at your beautiful kitchens)
cryin’ in the night (cutting onions under a run-away ceiling fan)
night turns into mornin’ just another day (same old carp butt to greet me)
happy people pass my way (dishwashers do buy happiness)
lookin’ in their eyes I see their memories (of breakfasts sandwiches cooked in their microwaves)
I never realized how happy appliances made me
oh Mandi will you come and give without taking?
I won’t send you away
oh Mandi will you pick me and stop me from breaking?
I need you today oh Mandi
(borrowed with many liberties from Barry Manilow)